OK, so at 43 you think you know the direction you are going. Right? That is the assumption I made when I was in my early 20s. Turns out to be slightly different. This question of “my purpose in life” or “is my major right for my future” or “what does God want for my life” (all variations of a theme) is the most prevalent question I hear from people. It obviously is also the most prevalent thing most speakers or “life coaches” face, judging from the books out there.
So, I’ve got good news and bad news. First the bad news–it has been my experience that even if you are very confident about the “why” or “purpose” of what you are doing (as I am), you still face questions. It never feels settled. Now, at times I think “this must only be me.” At other times though, the more I deal with my peers, I am convinced that most people think like this, even if they are, from the outside, very successful and seem really happy. For me, a large part of the consternation comes from the very clear realization that we only get one go-round in life AND from the very clear realization that I want to do only what God wants me to do.
However, in this bad news, there is a silver lining and that is obviously this sense of tension is how it’s supposed to be. We aren’t suppose to get too comfortable. We aren’t supposed to settle. There should be some sense of pushing, of looking, of wondering about the next mountain top and the next valley. So, rather than lamenting, you use this pressure to look inward more and often.
Now the good news–we can live life making a difference. We just have to face our fears and be brave and go for it. In a new song that my band is working on, one of the lines is a personal challenge where I say to myself, why are you afraid to cross the line. The line between your dreams and your fears. The line that really isn’t even there, except in our minds.
We step over that line realizing that the fear was only temporary and we go for it. We face the supposed fear, unmask it for its frailty and march confidently towards our future.
Sure, you may not reach the exact future that you saw, but I can promise you that where you’ll end up is better than where you’d be just sitting passively on the other side of the line.
Do this, this weekend. Take 15 minutes to sit quietly. Get rid of all the noise. Get away from your phone. Ask yourself “where do you see yourself in 15 years” (or 10, or 5). Don’t listen to voices that are saying “you can’t do that” or “it’s too hard.” Just listen to your soul. Write that down. Ask it in various categories, if that helps you–like financially, relationships, education, job position, geographical, etc…. Be even more specific, so for instance don’t just say “I’ll be living up north” but right “I will be in the suburbs of Chicago on Lake Michigan or someplace better.” (The last phrase is not an “escape clause” but rather an admission that by moving confidently across that line, even better things that you can’t see or imagine can come your way!)
Speak these visions outloud. Tell one or two other close confidants who you know will champion your cause, encourage you and hold you accountable. Look at this list of things often, daily and remind yourself of where you are going.
There are other steps to take after this, but here’s where it starts. And plan to review these often, maybe every quarter or so. That’s why this weekend is so huge. In the ancient world, as each season came around, the ancient civilizations, even into the middle ages, took time for reflection and celebration. The church called this the Ember Days. In my church, we have incorporated this into our annual life. Each quarter (New Years, Easter, Memorial Day, Labor Day works for us in the USA, kind of quarterly national holidays) we focus a weekend for personal reflection and community celebration.
You can choose the right path. You can move through your fears. See it. March right up to that line where your fear dwells. Step right over it.
I’ll see you on the other side!