I was chatting/ministering with someone at my College who had written about a very tough situation they were going through. In our conversation, which we shared with a large email prayer group, I reflected to this person that “God won’t give us more than we can handle.” Well, is that true or not? Does God use the moments of our greatest challenge for our good?
Later, one of my friends wrote to me personally to comment, saying that my comment is “actually not true. He gives us more than we can a lot of the time. It causes us to be drawn to our knees in prayer. The passage you were referring to gets misinterpreted quite often. It comes from I Corinthians 10:13 and speaks to when we are tempted, that “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.””
Well, of course what my friend wrote is correct, that God does use our situations to get us down on our knees. However, as I wrote back, the semantics becomes part of the issue here. So that if someone means by “not more than I can handle” that they will never have weakness or never face pain or never be burdened heavily…well then they are wrong.
If, though, they mean that they will come to the end of their human strength and He will meet them there, allowing them to move through the situation without giving up, giving in, losing faith….then I think that is right. He will not allow me to face more than I can to the point that I fail. Sort of ties in Psalm 23 (even though I walk in the shadow of the dark valley, or am in the presence of my enemies—both the sort of place where one would feel as if they were shouldering the heaviest of burdens) and Romans 8:28 (there is no external power that that snatch me from God’s hand).
I added also that God does allow or send things that are rough, hard, frustrating and so forth. My friend wrote back again listing several of the giants of the Christian faith as examples of how God does precisely that, though my friend was still insisting that many misuse the concept of not getting more than we can bear. “Very difficult times often physical pain with no end in sight. I do believe the verse in Corinthian’s though often gets misinterpreted. I see it a lot and I cringe every time someone offers that verse to someone, in that context, who is deeply hurting because it does nothing for the individual except make them feel they might be doing something wrong to deserve their suffering.”
However, as I told my friend, the point is that Paul, for example, DID bear the burden of a loss of sight on the road to Damascus or putting up with that he called his “thorn in the flesh.” He didn’t give in. It wasn’t more than he could bear…God said “my grace is sufficient for you” in order to help us bear the burden.
You may be thinking “so what.” Well, for many, at some point in their lives (and for myself, it has happened many times) this good news that God will allow suffering in order to strengthen us, is critical in order to navigate heavy, hard issues.
J.R.R. Tolkien brings this up many times in his writing, but perhaps easiest to see in The Hobbit. As Bilbo and his Dwarf friends make their way into the scary dark woods of Mirkwood (this will be shown in the upcoming second movie about The Hobbit), we find out that Bilbo gets separated from his friends. In this moment, Bilbo gets attacked by gigantic spiders.
In a moment of desperation, Bilbo goes on the offensive with his little sword that he will soon christen as “Sting.” Before long he has killed his attacker, not only saving his life but allowing the journey to the Lonely Mountains to continue.
To understand the power of this moment in his life, one must remember that Bilbo was earlier described in the book as being, well, soft and lazy. A creature of comfort. You may remember even after he decides to go on the quest, he almost turns back because he had forgotten a prim and proper handkerchief (kids…go ask your grandparents).
Now, some months later, through suffering, long walks, challenging situations, a few “near brush” with death moments including almost being eaten by the creature Gollum…he was now in a position in which to fight for his life, alone. Unlike with Gollum where good luck, his wits and a magic ring got him out of trouble, this time he had to act with daring and decisive action using a sword….a real battle fight.
In other words, Eru (the God of the Tolkien’s world) had not given him more than he could handle so that he quit or gave up, but rather had given him just enough, consistently, so that in the moment of an even deeper crisis, Bilbo could handle the situation.
In the Bible, the story of Jacob tells us a similar story. I was studying Jacob’s life for a teaching series I was doing at my church earlier this year. Jacob is not a good person initially. Maybe hard to believe, but the Bible is pretty clear that he is a schemer, someone who might more readily lie to you to steal something from you secretly than do actual battle with you. This fact, by the way, is one reason why I love the Bible and believe it to be from God—He never tries to hide the humanity and sinfulness of some of the key humans that He, God, will work through.
Jacob, as the history tells us, ultimately flees his home for having crossed his older brother, Esau, one time too many. In fleeing, a weak and somewhat conniving little man, he runs to the family of his mother to hide. Once there, he spent about 20 years dealing with one challenging situation after another.
Along the way, he was taken to the ends of his strength and wits, and yet was also being refined by God for the road ahead. He saw how harmful lies and betrayal were when his mother’s brother, Laban, did to Jacob the same as Jacob had done to Esau.
After 20 years, he decided to return home, partially to run away in fear from Laban and partially because he heard God call him back home. However, Esau was waiting for Jacob, and with him Esau had brought 400 warriors. Jacob first began to concoct a scheme of how to meet Esau and do so intact, but that night, his life would change forever.
During the night, he began wrestling with a powerful being. At first Jacob thought he was wrestling with perhaps one of Laban’s soldiers or perhaps Esau’s, coming to test him. However, during the struggle, he realized that this was an angel from God. At that point, Jacob went from fighting against the being to holding on, perhaps even hugging tight.
Jacob had been someone who had schemed his way through situation, but now, on the cusp of his biggest challenge, confronting his brother who he had defrauded, he realized that he could not, nor should not, try to scheme out of this fight. Rather, he should hold on tight.
The fight would leave him with a permanent limp, but with a new name….that of Israel which meant “God fights.” Jacob’s new name was going to be a reminder that God was going to continue to fulfill the promise to Abraham, that his family would be God’s chosen people.
As Jacob, now Israel, limped to meet his brother, rather than scheming, he merely humbled himself before Esau, kneeling and bowing before him in submission, asking for repentance. We are told that “Esau ran to meet him and embraced him.” Esau, who had last wanted to kill his brother, now could see how God had changed Jacob.
Just like Bilbo and Jacob, you might now be going through some of the toughest things you have ever faced before. Don’t fear and don’t turn back. Stay on your knees, holding on tight. Ask God to strengthen you, to prepare a table for you in the presence of your enemies. He will work through your weakness, and as you come out of this, you will be stronger.
That doesn’t mean the situation isn’t hard or painful. It also doesn’t mean you might not suffer some losses. God’s transforming crucible will hurt, but you will, like Bilbo, be a new person for it, ready for the next thing.