Most of my favorite theologians were formerly atheists. C.S. Lewis is high on that list.
In a letter to Sheldon Vanauken written Dec. 14, 1950, Lewis reflects back on his journey of faith. Writing there, Lewis states what many people think or hope:
“My own position at the threshold of Xtianity was exactly the opposite of yours. You wish it were true: I strongly hoped it was not.”
Why would he go there? Well, the writers at Lewis’ official blog go into some thoughts about it, reflecting on Psalm 139. The core thought expressed by the blog writers is exactly my own experience when talking to others about faith—if Christianity is true, Lewis knew it would demand a change in him.
This idea always is the central challenge. We don’t really want to change, let alone have it suggested that we NEED to change. I mean, even the most immoral among us, people who will admit that aren’t necessarily living on the straight and narrow will still twist logic to end up in a state where no change is really needed in them. Christianity posits however that every person, even those the world deems to be “good” find him or herself in a debt that they simply cannot repay.
So, change through Jesus is rejected out of hand. The ideas of God become merely some religious thoughts of some humans and “well, those people are no better than me.” Going further, the call to submission to His ways becomes attacked by suggesting none of it really came from God–if there is a God at all–and instead are just some thoughts of other humans. Through it all, at the root for most, is a simple dodge of having to confront the deep challenge of life change.
I think this is why G. K. Chesterton (one of Lewis’ spiritual heroes) wrote, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.”
Though difficult, the path through Jesus Christ remains the only way, and through it we find life.