This past weekend, I attended two different funerals. Tough, right? I fear that as I age, I need to get prepared for more of these moments. They are, as always, a call to remember the deceased, usually in hopes of happy thoughts and memories. They have their share of tears too, obviously, as those closest realize there is no more time with that person. The loss is always the hardest. All loss is hard, but the loss of another human who was close to you is really deeply painful.
It is this notion of not ever being able to communicate or commune with the lost person that raises the point of the post. Now is the time to live, not tomorrow. You have no promise of tomorrow anyway, and waiting serves no purpose either. Today is the day to embrace life fully. But, this challenge is more than just “going for it” in your life, but realizing that this moment you have right now is the only one you really have. All other notions of having the next moment is an illusion. We like to believe we are in control of our lives, of our schedules, but we aren’t. We have no time other than the present experience of aliveness.
That, then, raises the point about other people. As I said, part of what makes a funeral sad is that there are no other moments to share with the person. In the second funeral, the mother of a friend had passed away quite suddenly. She had been alive and well and then….well, she was gone. Loved ones who would have wished to say goodbye were not afforded that opportunity. The present moment to speak kindness to the mother, to get a hug, to share a story….all time was gone in an instant.
Today, right now, this is the moment to live well in your relationships with others. Now is the time to call the other person. When you leave them, realize this may be the last moment you have with them. That’s not a call to some morbid fascination with death nor is it to paralyze you from ever doing something. But, when your loved one drives away or is getting off the phone, that is the time for the “I love you” or other words expressing the depth of your relationship. When you focus on the other person, especially to tell them that they matter, you are really embracing life at its depth.
Death is always sad. Funerals are no fun, at least at one level. But, if thought about properly, they can remind us that living is such a gift. And what really makes the gift special is the others around you, so make sure as you pass through life, you are letting the others around you know of your care for them.