Do you ever begin to think that you are so important that you’ll never be fired? That the organization could never survive without you? Well, I have bad news for you—it’s not true. After leaving, or being fired, from a half dozen organization in my 25 years of adult work, I can tell you that each is moving along quite well after. I have learned this truth. You are never indispensible.
I really gained insight to this back in 1996. I was in my second year as the Student Pastor at First Baptist Church in Winter Park, FL. Things were moving along well, but I wasn’t really happy. I was becoming very consumed with all that needed to happen (or so I thought) and was becoming easily agitated about perceived failures on the part of others.
Then, a chance event really set me off, frustrated for God’s sake (or so I told myself). Someone did not fulfill their responsibility in one of my events, so I fussed and then over the course of the day, get really ticked off. That evening, as I tossed and turned, fuming, Kim quietly stated that she was sorry that I hated my job. That statement is not such a big deal, as I knew that she knew that I did not “hate” the job. BUT, the thing that jolted me was that she used to say that about my coaching job too. At that point, I really did not like the job as circumstances had developed various relationship challenges that made work less than ideal. As I lay there in bed, I realized that something was wrong with me, not the other person(s).
As I drove home from a Bible Study the next day, God began to speak to me. When I got home, I found a quiet place where I could sit and think, trying to listen to what God might say to me. What came really shook my life 32 year-old self.
No program, no event, no teaching, no thing that I do will be the thing, in and of itself, that will spark a passion in these people for God. It is His will, His Spirit that draws and calls and nothing I do can change that.
That doesn’t mean to not do stuff, but keep it in perspective. The reason that I am stressed and getting stomachaches is that I am placing myself in His position as God and getting mad when people don’t respond. He reminded me of what He has already told me before–He does not need me. I am merely a vessel (hopefully one to honor–II Tim 2) and He can choose to work through me or not, but He does not need me. By standing in His place, I showed the true sin of pride in my life. That, behind the facade of righteous indignation (we are allowed some of that, but not to the extreme I exhibit it), was a prideful person demanding allegiance. And behind that was a little boy screaming at other people, “I’ve worked for 25 hours on this–you’d better be there.”
Loudly and with vigor, I heard Him reminding me, “I don’t need you. I am at work in the world where I choose to work. And I did not save you to use you; I saved you so that you might know me and be known by me and in that, have a relationship with me that glorifies me. I did not put you in this position to save the world or these kids. I put you here so that you might grow, that you might be transformed into the image of My Son. If I choose to use you to minister to these kids, then so be it–it’s my choice, but I did not put you there for that reason first.”
It’s sobering to realize that you have been spanked by God; it’s sobering to be reminded of frailty; it’s sobering to be reminded that you are not really needed; that God can and will use whomever He pleases. He did not stop there.
I was sufficiently rebuked for the time I spend on busy activities. When I would spend time counting heads, looking for approval, I was claiming rights that I no longer had. And when I put in an excessive amount of hours on events, I was trying to win the war with 300,000 men, not 300 (see Gideon). It’s not that we just cancel everything; but that we realize that He’ll use anything He wants.
So where did that leave me? Well for starters, I revamped my schedule to include more time with my students, more time for adults in my life (workers, discipleship time, friends) and tons more time with Kim and our then baby girl, Logan. It’s not my job to worry about whether the people come, whether they get a passion for God. It’s my job to be faithful to what I am told to do and in doing it, I am being transformed, which is the real reason that I am here now, at this place, anyway.
The next Sunday, a visiting preacher came to our church and put the final exclamation point on this lesson. He said that we must be willing to surrender to God, give up and let Him do His work. We must be willing to realize that we can only take care of you and we must be content to let God take care of the rest.
I know not everyone reading this is a Christian, so you may be wondering where does this leave you? Let me tell you about the next 14 years—my reflection since this time remains the same even as I have worked mostly in non-Christian environments. These different companies all are excellent locations with superb, highly skilled people working there. No longer do I approach by job as if I am some example of “God’s gift to the organization.” Instead, in humility, I come to work so grateful for the chance to be in the organization. I work to the best of my ability, but maintain a healthy balance of work and life. I remind myself often that the moment I am no longer with the organization, they will fill my shoes (perhaps with someone better).
All of that helps me stay humble so that I can really do good work. It helps me avoid growing lazy, fat with the excess of having eaten the empty calories of puffery and vanity. It also reminds me that there is much more going on around me than meets the eye and its only my job to serve where He has placed me. Do my job well and with great valor and excellence; leave everything else to God and it will go well with my soul.