One of my mentors, Dr. Sandy Shugart suggested I re-read C.S. Lewis’ masterful essay, The Weight of Glory. I thought I had a copy at home, but couldn’t track it down, so ultimately I just bought a new copy that included a wonderful introduction by Lewis’ personal secretary, Walter Hooper. I was struck by something powerful in Hooper’s description of the latter days of Lewis’ life.
Hooper recounted a conversation with Lewis that went like this:
One day when he was obviously much better, but not completely out of danger, he asked why I looked so glum.
The reason for the glumness was that, living in our neighborhood was a fierce old atheist of about ninety-seven who went out for a brisk walk every day. Whenever we met, he asked if Lewis was still alive, and on receiving my reply that he was indeed quite ill, he invariably said, “Nothing wrong with me! I’ve got a long time yet!”
I told Lewis that I was tempted to tell our Lord that I thought it monstrously unfair that He should allow the naughty old atheist to seemingly go on forever and yet let Lewis, who was only sixty-four, come so close the point of death.
“And what do you think Our Lord would say to that?” Lew said with a discouraging look.
“What?”
“What is that to you!”
Anyone who has read St. John 21:22—Our lord’s rebuke to St. Peter—will recognize Lewis’s application of it in this instance. And tenderly, Lewis comforted me in what I had imagined was his sorrow, but which he knew was mine. (from The Weight of Glory, HarperCollins Paperback edition, 2001, pp. 7-8)
As I read, I immediately saw several applications about life, but the main one that hit me was this. So often we worry about the impact of our lives. Or, at least I do—I wonder if the hard work is worth the effort. I know others who ask similar questions.
At the same time, we see people who, like the atheist in the story, do not seem to play by the rules and yet always seem to get ahead. That concept could go in various directions, so I won’t pursue it beyond this point—when we look back at the two lives from the story, that of Lewis and the older gentleman, who really made an impact? Whose story is still being told?
Of course not knowing the other man, perhaps the comparison isn’t quite fair, but the point is. Even if that man was kind and generally nice, I doubt people are still reading his writings today. I wonder if anyone actually remembers (hopefully his family does).
Far too often we get caught in worry about the impact we wish for our lives. In the process, we forget that “it is as the Lord’s discretion that people are made great and given strength.” (I Chronicles 29:11-12) In the end, regardless of how Hooper thought it unfair, the type of life Lewis had lived made the greater impact. Hooper simply had not seen the whole story, like most of us humans who have a very limited vision on things.
So, determine today that you will positively impact the life of another. And, at the same time, decide to not compare your status to another. You don’t know the whole story, nor how the impact of your life will be later.