We’ve started another semester at Valencia College. Our students are busily at work in pursuit of their dreams. We believe that they can achieve these dreams and wish to do all we can to support them. However, there are challenges and pitfalls to this journey, including many false directions from culture such as this pursuit of dream should not take hard work or that the American dream is all about wealth or ease. Learning to reject these myths and avoid falling into these pits is key for life success.
I wonder if perhaps the biggest challenge to us is to avoid taking on the role of victim. Already, in my class, we have had five graded activities and some students are already sliding behind. For some, they will become determined and move to fix the issue; others, though, probably watching our culture far too much will claim victim status. This becomes 
something of a “poor me” attitude which fits nicely with our self-absorbed culture these days. You must reject this at all times; do not accept a victim status!
I don’t know what happened to our country in this; perhaps this is just a human trait and many have always had this. I don’t think so, however. You see it and hear it all the time. I hear it among adults; I hear it at my college with some of my obviously intelligent peers with fancy letters in front of or behind their names. Something happens unplanned, a disappointment emerges and rather than moving to solve the issue with grit, determination and probably a new strategy….there is this slowing of action and lament as to why things didn’t just work out. There is always an excuse, sometimes a blaming of another, and poof—“I am a victim; it’s not my fault. You should fix this for me.”
I don’t want to drift too close to our current racial tension or immigration issues, but often part of what is going there can be accepting a victim status. One looks around, discovers life is hard, perhaps personal finances are weak and rather than moving to make a change, the mantra becomes that “I am a victim and someone else should fix this.” Again to be clear, this problem is not limited to one race…I was in a conversation about financial stress and the problem of limited income from an hourly wage in one of my classes. One of my students, a white girl with family in West Virginia, expressed the opinion that her family could not help it, and the “evil owners” where they worked were villains. I proclaimed that her family could leave if they wished. She said they couldn’t. I then asked “are they there as slaves; I know we have slavery today, but its usually underground….your family actually would not be allowed to leave?” Chagrined, she realized her error and admitted that they could leave, but that leaving would be hard. Ah, I said, of course it would be hard…everything in life IS hard….but they could leave if they wanted to.
It was simply too easy for her to move to victim status. Staying put and complaining about their financial stress is merely accepting a victim status. Many in our poor inner cities take the same tack. I’m a victim and someone has done this to me. We didn’t used to be this way, I am confident. Our nation is a nation of immigrants and millions have come here with nothing, often been treated poorly or suffered due to language limitations, gotten taken advantage of just like anyone could be if they moved to a foreign land. And yet, they endured and became successful.
I mean, if these millions of immigrants over the past 200 years had all just been killed, enslaved, we would know about it. And others would quit coming…but they kept coming and still do today. Often those immigrants go straight to work ready to put in whatever effort it takes. Now look, I am not saying it wasn’t hard or that some immigrants were not horribly treated. It was hard and many were mistreated…and yet, they didn’t go back to the country of their birth. They moved up the economic ranks through hard work, determination, education and for some, some good luck. Businesses were started, careers begun, the success ladder was climbed and families thrived with children and grandchildren off to college, in their own pursuit of life.
It wasn’t just immigrants. Both of my parents were among the deeply poor in our country. My dad’s parents were sharecroppers in the 1920s and 30s. My mother’s father worked on the Southern Railroad, building a long career making low middle class wages. None of the four grandparents were educated and yet they constructed solid lives, raising good families. Both of my parents did not have indoor plumbing till the late 1940s. At Christmas, they typically received one present. And yet, the idea of being a victim never crossed their minds. My parents moved through life with their head held high. Both graduated from college, participated in careers that mattered to them and raised a good family in a middle-class house in rural East Tennessee, set-backs and financial hardships notwithstanding.
If our country has any chance to recover from where we are now, we must reject the victim role. You know what, in some situations, a person really is a victim. Some get attacked in a violent crime or are treated grossly unfair at their work. Most people, however, just don’t like how a certain situation has turned out. Rather than rolling up their sleeves and getting back to work, they start the moaning.
Do you want to Live Well? Heck, do you simply want to make it through College in the best shape possible? Avoid the victim role and instead become the hero in your own story. Know you’ll confront tough situations, sometimes of your own making. Get up! Dust yourself off! Get moving.
You are not a victim. Reject that role! You are a champion and the only thing stopping you from moving forward is you.