I enjoy Chris’ take on most things. He is spot on here. Take a read. He writes that he heard the following parable:
Grab a plate and throw it on the ground.
-Okay.
Did it break?
-Yes.
Now say sorry to it.
-Okay.
Did it go back to the way it was before?
-No.
Do you understand now?
Better still, Chris elaborates that there are at least 3 take aways:
1. If someone has hurt you, it doesn’t have to be magically okay. It will probably continue to hurt for a while.
2. If you’ve hurt someone else, you should do everything you can to make it right—but you also shouldn’t expect it to be completely fixed.
3. Whenever possible, avoid these situations in the first place. Don’t be careless with plates, or with people.
Very good work there. I don’t think you really can avoid this (#3), but at least be aware that even if it feels like no big deal to you, to the broken plate, it is catastrophic. And, you don’t help things if you continue to insist that nothing big happened or that the other person should just get over it. They don’t. Do you? I don’t? I’ve been hurt often (who hasn’t) through the years, often by people who have pledged their lives and hearts with you in common cause. It hurts.
So, when you are the one doing the breaking of the plate, understand just how serious it is to the other person.