Back in 2009, I took my bride to Europe for our 20th anniversary, heading to Prague and Vienna. Before we left for our trip to Europe, I was most excited about going to Vienna. If you know anything about Europe in the past 2000 years, you know that from 1300 to 1950, Vienna was one of the principle cities of the region. Long before Paris started making claims about being the city of lights of Europe, Vienna was the capital seat of the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. Now, Prague and her supporters would argue that they were the capital of Europe (I read that about a dozen times while visiting Prague), yet the reality is that Vienna rose on the banks of the Danube to overshadow Europe.
For most of that time, one family controlled the power—the Hapsburgs. Now, imagine you and your family took some economic risks, rolled the dice some, accepted a big promotion in another area of the country, fought off opponents and then, over time through marriages, other bold purchases and a bit of luck, your descendants came to own a large portion of the region you moved to. That’s the history of the Hapsburgs. While certainly there is more to it, when you look at their story, it wasn’t as if they were super-rich to begin with. Yet within 300 years or so, the family was the most powerful in all of Europe.
So, I know this. I know many of the family members. My wife, on the other hand, is the musical expert and Vienna (because of its position in the Empire) became the home of the greatest music in the world. Mozart, Haydn, Beethoven, Strauss, and many others produced much of their magic in Vienna. And art? Well, Kim loves art and again, Vienna is the home of so much wonderful art; there are as many art museums as there are places to hear incredible music.
Thus, you can understand that our expectations were very high.
The reality did not meet our hopes.
In fact, by the second day, we were fighting major frustration. Of course, we were also tired since Vienna was the last 5 days of our trip. Yet, it seemed everywhere we turned, everything we tried ran into issues, obstacles, and a host of other problems. By the time we got back, when people asked us about the trip, our general impression of Vienna was very negative. The people seemed angry. No one seemed to want to help a stranger. Places were just randomly closed. Signs were pointless, and on and on.
Now, upon reflection, it really wasn’t that bad. There were nice people. There were some logical and fair explanations about a few of our struggles. So, as time goes by, and we think back, we can come up with happy thoughts and good memories. But don’t miss the major lesson here—in general terms, we came home with a negative impression of Vienna that we have shared with many.
In your life and what you do, make sure you are always putting your best foot forward, making sure that how you communicate, how you interact with customers or business relations, is as positive and as helpful as you can make it.
But that’s not the real lesson. The bigger lesson is not what Vienna should have done for me, but how I processed the information. What happened to us was more about my expectations vs. the reality. Ever been there? Ever had a certain opinion about what was supposed to go down, and then have a different experience? If so, you ran into the same potential problem as I did. We are now in the start of yet another semester and I can promise you that I will interact with students who have one set of expectations about me, about history or about college in general. How they handle the difference between their expectations and the reality of the situation will speak greatly to whether they succeed in the semester or not.
In those situations, you really only have 2 choices. You can continue to be angry, disappointed and upset, or you can let go of your expectations and get in line with the reality. Now, I’m not suggesting that you accept poor service or being mistreated or something like that, however, even in extreme negative situations, you can sit and stew in frustration, or you can realize “this is just how it is” and roll with it.
This is not easy to do, at least its not easy for me, but it is a key to living life successfully. Becoming angry about something you can’t change only hurts you. No one in Vienna was somehow going to be able to make everything “right.” I had to accept that and just “let it be.”
Another lesson to take away is to be careful with your expectations and hopes. There’s nothing wrong with being excited about something (a present, a trip, a new position at work), but be ready to quickly get your opinions in line with reality.
By the last day, though we were pretty tired and irritable, we had done a pretty good job of accepting the facts as they were. We had a super last day—we saw some cool sights, rode bikes through the city, and enjoyed a wonderful last meal at a Viennese Wine House. Their various wines were very good (and I don’t even enjoy wine). The stars were out and the local music was a nice flavor; our waitress and the owner were excellent. Here, you can go to their site and see for yourself. Order some wine and enjoy relaxing as you accept the reality, good and bad, in the situation.