Today is Cinco de Mayo. You should hear the party and the music all around. Interesting, isn’t it, how easy it is to listen to something when you want to. The party music booms with laughter and joy, friends and drinks and fun. Same thing happens when I enjoy an Orlando City Soccer Team match. The supporters have the drums rolling, the chants and songs are incessant and it’s quite easy to hear.
Why don’t we listen like this all the time? Its one of the most important things, and yet among the hardest skills to focus on.
We are starting a new semester and next week, I will again be sharing keys to success for my students. In my face-to-face class, I will spend some time talking through the steps they must undertake, outlining key dates or concepts to understand. And yet, I already know that for many, they won’t be listening. Weeks later, either something will be missed, or a deadline will loom, and a student will finally ask me about it. They will not have been listening.
My professorial peers are no better. We strive diligently in the work of guiding the College to inform everyone of issues, coming decisions and choices we must make. Countless communication efforts will go out, whether in person, in print or via a digital means, and still I can promise you that months later, some professor will be angry about some decision made that they are finally learning about. They will claim to have never been told, to have not known. Sigh—no, the simple issue is that they will not have been listening.
Want that life of success? One clear key is this. Learn to listen. Fully engage your mind when you are in the conversation. Pay attention to the communication that comes your way, whether from your friend, your spouse or your boss. You must determine to be actively there. Most communication is not like Cinco de Mayo, with the band playing and your enjoyment high. Instead, it’s part of work, effort, sweat, tears.
In that moment, you must remind yourself of larger goals. Maybe you don’t want to actually listen to your spouse, but you must remind yourself that you love this person, you committed yourself to him or her. You care about them and you want peace in your house. You must listen.
Maybe you feel too overwhelmed to really listen to your professor or to the leaders at your work, but you must remind yourself that you want, or at least NEED, this job. You committed yourself to this work. It has nothing to do with how you feel about the job or the person giving you the info. Of course, if you hate your work….quit now. Get out—life is too short to stay in such a place, but be wise. Sometimes, the “hate” of the work is coming from within you, and has nothing to do with the others around you. Whether you stay with a better attitude, or just know you need the job, or indeed (like me) like the work, then you do actually care and want peace in the work place (and success in the classroom). You must listen.
Active engagement in listening is hard work. I don’t do it perfectly (ask my wife), but I put in the effort. It’s a must if you want to Live Well.