August 23, 2010 at 7:59 am, by Carl
As our girls have gotten older, we have started introducing them to some of our favorite movies. Recently, we rented Michael J Fox’s Back to the Future.
The movie does a great job of showing the various foibles of the teen years and how, sometimes, we “forget” how we acted as a teen. We instruct our kids to do certain things (or avoid them) acting, all the while, as if we were saints as teens.
But, the journey of Fox’s character was not what caught my attention as I enjoyed the movie again with my daughters. What grabbed me was the life of his father, George McFly. As you enter the movie, we are presented with the adult George who is, at best, a nerdy, socially inept man who struggles to make his life work.
He is still bullied by others, mocked by his children and dismissed by his wife. Though in love at some earlier point in the marriage, clearly by the time of the start of the movie, his wife has deep regrets for every choosing George. Were this movie written in current times rather than in the early 80s, the couple would already be divorced, based on the looks, sounds and words of his wife. His son, Marty, played by Fox, is sadly embarrassed and disappointed in his dad.
After Marty ends up back in 1955, though, something interesting happens. Through the twists of the movie, George confronts and literally “knocks out” his main tormentor in a heroic scene involving the younger wife-to-be. It’s the kind of scene designed to bring a cheer from the audience.
The movie progresses forward then to its surprising end; not only does Marty successfully get home to 1985, but to his shock, he finds that George has radically changed. The stumbling goof at the start of the movie has transformed to a successful author happily in love with his wife. His new life has rubbed off on his wife who has kept in great shape and seems more alive than ever (unlike what we saw earlier). The other children are also shown to be people creating successful lives in the world.
Wow—all that from one act? Yes!!
On the cover of my book Success for Life, I wrote “a successful life is composed of the many small decisions where a choice is made between greatness and cutting corners, between valor and what is easy.” The movie of George McFly’s life demonstrates exactly what I was trying to say with words.
I often counsel people who are trying to find success and they seem to be waiting for some great single moment to “show up.” Meanwhile, they keep missing the smaller moments when they need to decide to be great, to be valorous, to be a true success. Maybe they miss the chance to stop their friends from gossiping; perhaps they have a chance to say no to cheating. Sometimes, its just as simple as deciding to be a pleasant person and give others in the office a genuine smile. These are the “many small decisions” that shape and define your life.
While they are wondering when the spotlight will come or their ship to come in, they are crafting a life like the early George McFly—full of regret, leaving a trail of mockery, poor choices and decisions lamented over. They sadly wonder why their kids don’t respect them; they are curious as to why they can’t hold a decent job. Perhaps they are trying to figure out where the spark of their love went in that marriage relationship.
In many cases, I can tell them that it didn’t happen in one moment, but rather in accepting a life that is far smaller than it should be. If they could go back, and have the encouragement that George got from his son who spent the time in 1955 telling his father than he should live boldly, these people I work with could perhaps find the same chance to actually stand strong, even in the face of opposition.
I know that those moments such as what George faced are scary, that it’s easier to bail, but you can do it. And don’t think that your situation is not as glamorous or as life-altering as George’s was. I promise you that your life IS built on those small decisions. And, people notice!!
Immediately after George stood his ground and chose to pursue greatness and valor, people were asking, “who’s that guy?” Others began to see something deeper in George than ever he saw; one schoolmate asked George to run for school class President. Remember, he was the same 17-year-old, somewhat goofy guy with a bad haircut. What was different? The way he carried himself and how he believed in himself. That popular and powerful person was there all along, but till that moment, he had been choosing a small life, a life of cutting corners and accepting the picture others were painting of him.
I want you to live your life boldly, to Live Well. To do that, you have to decide today to live a great life. No, you don’t have to punch out the bully, but you do have to decide to meet each moment of your life with greatness. If you do, then the next 30 years will end up in a life that you will embrace and be happy with. . .and your son won’t need to go back in time to help you change things.
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