May 10, 2010 at 10:49 am, by Carl

One of Jesus most provocative statements was his command to “Love your enemies.”  It simply seems impossible to do that with any shred of credibility.  Yet, the reality is that within those words lies a true secret of success.


When I was at Auburn, a proud brother of FarmHouse Fraternity, we, like all other college Greek organizations, had rivals.  For us, the Fijis and the Betas were often our strongest competition to be one of the best fraternities at Auburn.  Of course, each brother or sister of any organization believes that their group is the greatest, otherwise you wouldn’t have joined.


Rivalries are normal and not necessarily a bad thing.  A strong rival can help propel you to a deeper passion for excellence. But, taken too far and a rival can become an enemy.  At that point, the words of Jesus loom large.  What should you do when an enemy has seemingly harmed you?


Look for some way that you can help them.  Yep!  That’s right.  Rather than looking for a path towards revenge or payback, find a way to support them.  This can be done in a myriad of ways including actual physical action to verbal support, but regardless, find a way to be supportive, to help them.


Not only will this make you feel better, it can change the relationship.  As others see and hear you, it reflects back on your opponent.  If that person or group continues to work against you, then your support and offers of friendship merely make that other person look bad.  In the best cases, it can help you move away from enemies to become healthy rivals.


One of my favorite bands, Mae, included this idea in their incredible song “The Fisherman Song (We All Need Love).” There, they wrote “if someone tries to burn you give him your hand and turn and pick him up when he’s all alone.”  Yes!  That is precisely what it takes to get over yourself and build people up around you.  Yes, even your opponents.


In that moment where you can reach out to your rival, your magnanimity shouts loudly to your strength and success.  Others will notice.  Better, you’ll feel better inside.  Trust me; its been part of my path to success for over 25 years.